Category Archives: Perkins
This problem didn’t arrive suddenly by alien spacecraft; it has been brewing for YEARS and the EU elite have done nothing to sort out the root causes, even during the (illusory) “boom” years.
It all started when they let Greece into the euro on the KNOWN LIE of falsifying their accounts – reportedly with the help of Goldman Sachs to cook the books. The EU also knew (their own economists told them) that Greece and others couldn’t survive long-term in the euro with Germany. They went on nonetheless and therefore effectively lied to their electorate, and this for political reasons. This lied-to electorate is now having to pick up vast bills.
This is a mess for all of us (though I notice that so far none of the EU leaders is taking a pay cut to help out), but even so I am happy to see LIES get the treatment they deserve. Does the general populace KNOW that the launch of the euro was based on a lie? Are we going to DO something about it?
Oh, and the Portuguese PM has just admitted that many activities “were removed from the budget”, thus falsifying the Portuguese accounts, while in Britain much investment was shifted to PFIs, which I believe ALSO don’t figure in the usual statistics designed to reveal a country’s debt.
ALL SODDING LIES. This is the leadership we have got – all done by lies, sleight of hand and financial trickery totally divorced from the REAL WORLD.
More transcripts from our bug in the Ministry of Misinformation, Whitehall
Sir: “Morning, Perkins. You look a bit perturbed this morning …”
Perkins: “ Good morning, Sir …. well, it’s the economic news …”
Sir: “Oh come on Perkins … swings and roundabouts, economic cycles, what goes around comes around and all that.”
Perkins: “Yes, but it seems we’re in the longest recession since records began.”
Sir: “Records, Perkins? Well, of course they’re there to be broken, and if anyone can do it, the Labour Government certainly can! Come on, cheer up – it’s just a spot of fiscal turbulence … in six months we’ll be wondering what all the fuss was about ….”
Perkins: “Six months?”
Sir: “Well, nine months then … the PM has promised an end to the recession in 2010.”
Perkins: “Some are saying that government promises about the economy aren’t worth the paper they’re written on …”
Sir: “Well, he only said it, Perkins. I don’t think he actually wrote it down as evidence, so to speak.”
Perkins: “But he also said Britain was better placed than other European countries to weather the recession, and now look at France and Germany! My old schoolmate Snuggs down in Southern Germany says there is no sign of a recession – boarded-up and charity shops as rare as unicorns, BMWs, Mercedes and Audis whizzing back and fro’ to Munich – not a banger to be seen, immaculate countryside …. the only black spot is farmers whingeing about the low price of milk.”
Sir: “Perkins, I’ve told you before, that’s Germany … you can’t apply the same standards of comparison to Britain …. as for posh cars, well, they make them don’t they? They probably have a surplus and so are flogging them off cheap.
Perkins: “But what about the sinking £, Sir? It’s now just hovering around parity with the euro – a year ago it was well above it. It’s very worrying …”
Sir: “Perkins …. I believe you’ve never studied economics, have you? that’s just the way it is. The German currency always goes up relative to the £. I remember when I was at school it was 11DM to the £.
Perkins: “But it’s not the German currency, Sir, it’s the euro.
Sir: “Don’t be silly, Perkins. The euro is 90% the Deutschmark in reality. But I wouldn’t worry about the falling £: it’s great for our exports. Besides, it hasn’t fallen relative to people in Britain. The £ in your pocket has maintained its value. Old Harold Wilson had a good understanding of relativity …. our whole approach is based on the principles of Einstein himself.”
Perkins: “But won’t commodities rise, Sir? After all, we depend on imports for practically everything.”
Sir: Aha! But that’s good for restraining consumption … we must consume less, Perkins, if we are to save the planet.
Perkins: “But the PM is banking on increased growth to save the economy, so how can we have increased growth and lower consumption, Sir? I don’t understand!”
Sir: “As I said before, Perkins, you’re not an economist – or a politician, come to that …..”
Perkins: “But they’re saying that we are borrowing billions just to cover current expenditure rather than spending it long-term infrastructure projects.”
Sir: “Ah … now you’re getting a bit technical, Perkins … you really must avoid jargon … after all, this is the Ministry of Misinformation ….”
Perkins: “Well, I can’t help being worried, Sir.”
Sir: “Enough of this nonsense, Perkins. The economy is booming … have you been to Harrods lately? Absolutely packed ….”
Perkins: “Yes Sir, with Arabs and Russian oligarchs ….”
Sir: “Well, look on the bright side, Perkins at least they’re spending their money over here rather than in their own countries ….. besides, where would the Premiership be without their money …. come on, Perkins – let’s have a cup of tea and forget about all this economic nonsense … we have some misinformation to sort out …””
It’s this subprime fiasco, Sir.
You know, Perkins. I think you tend to overuse the word “fiasco” a bit ….
Well, how would you describe it, Sir?
I think “wobble”’ probably does it, Perkins. And we didn’t get where we are today without the occasional wobble, did we?
But shouldn’t we call things by their proper names, Sir?
I’m not sure if the word “should” is all that useful in politics, Perkins.
But this subprime business is appalling, Sir!
But why on earth are you so het up, Perkins? Have you been reading the “Daily Mail” again?
Look Sir, correct me if I’m wrong, but these loans were made to people who could only have afforded to pay them back if a whole raft of conditions had all come to pass. They’d have had to increase their incomes to pay the loans back, inflation would have had to stay low, the house market would have had to remain buoyant and so on. In fact, NONE of those things applied or were likely to and those who marketed these loans must have KNOWN they were built on sand!
Well, you may be partly ….
So why were they called “subprime”? Surely that means any kind of loans apart from “prime” loans?
Whereas in fact, they are almost all absolutely useless rather than merely “subprime”. Why in fact didn’t they call them “Absolutely Worthless Shite Loans sold by Greedy, Overpaid Fat Cat Bankers Overseen by Totally Incompetent and Complicit Wankers in the Federal Reserve Bank”?
Well, that wouldn’t have fitted on the contracts for a start!
But it’s such lies, Sir!
Now Perkins, there is a difference between Lies and Good Marketing. For goodness sake! How could anyone have sold any of those loans with a name like yours?
At least it would have been honest, Sir.
Ah Perkins! Sometimes you remind me of my long-distant youth …..