Category Archives: Funnies

Today’s Funnies ….

A) “Labour is preparing to drop its blanket opposition to free schools in a further major change in policy.”

So, yesterday Gove was a “swivel-eyed loon” and now apparently he is right – at least on this point. Of course, no Labourite in their right mind would admit either that they got it wrong or that anyone else got it right, especially Gove. This would be a bit like the Pope enthusiastically going for priests getting married (to women of course) after 2,000 years of vociferous opposition and consequent and inevitable furtive paedophilia.

 Labour really are funny though:

 “We know that giving schools more freedom over how they teach and how they run and organise their schools can help to raise standards,” Mr Twigg is expected to say. “So why should we deny those freedoms to thousands of schools? All schools should have them – not just academies and free schools. A school should not have to change its structure just to gain freedoms.”

 So, apparently you know it NOW but you didn’t know it for THIRTEEN LONG YEARS? What happened? Did you have a vision? Or are you trying to jump onto a rapidly-disappearing bandwagon? Even Wilson was more inspiring than this lot.

 I suppose the nearer we get to an election the more Labour will start to join the real world where their voters live. Progress of a sort perhaps. But the elephant in the middle of the room is “The Wrong Brother”, as people start to wonder how they could possibly vote for Millibland Junior as leader of our great nation – a man who has never done a real job in his life.

How Millibland Major must be kicking himself for not having the guts to stand against Brown for leadership of his party. What a gutless and horrendously-costly decision. Still, would one want a gutless PM any more than a soppy one?

B) Not to be outdone in the hilarity stakes, Camerlooney has slagged off the police with faint praise. Not all of them are corrupt and useless it appears. THANKS A BUNCH DAVIE! But the most hilarious thing is the vast number of other instances of utter incompetence and corruption stalking the land, about which his lips are sealed:

1) gagging orders in the BBC and NHS: it took me a while to get my head round this, but basically, people WE pay lots of money are BRIBING sacked and/or malcontent employees with LOTS OF OUR MONEY to keep their traps shut about serious corruption and/or incompetence which the highly-overpaid managers are responsible for. Brilliant.

Your starter for 10. Has ANYONE guilty of this been sanctioned in ANY way?
Your bonus question: ditto re the managers of the Mid-Staffs Health trust, under whose aegis hundreds of patients have apparently been dying needlessly?

2) Another bonus question: Has ANYONE in the Labour Party been held to account for vastly increasing doctors’ pay and simultaneously reducing their responsibilities thus resulting in an absolute shambles in the NHS and especially in A&E (described today by senior doctors as “a war zone”) and in hospitals generally over the weekend?

As for this latter, it seems there are not enough senior doctors at the weekend, so if you are going to get ill make sure it is in the week. I haven’t had time to read the Hippocratic Oath, but as far as I know it does not say: “I swear to heal people as best as I can but not at the weekends because I have a yacht and also play golf a lot.”

Do firemen ALSO work on this basis? “Sorry mate – I don’t do Sundays …..”. It would be hilarious if people weren’t dying.

3) As for the BBC … even Patten admits it has been horrendously wasteful. What do all these highly-paid controllers DO for their couple of hundred thousand quid and vast pension pots? And it gets ever more biased and disgraceful – lambasting the EDL (which has been found guilty of NOTHING) while tip-toing over Islamic nastiness. And not nastiness of a few lunatics but at the CORE OF ITS BELIEFS. The cringing silence of the PC establishment about this is sickening. It is lying propaganda, which of course is nothing new; Blair’s loathsome government specialised in it. Let’s see what Andrew Gilligan has to say about it:

4) postal voting – a gigantic fraud that nobody seems bothered about … possibly because perpetrated especially in “Muslim” and/or Labour areas and we don’t want to offend them, do we?

C) Putin banging on about Human Rights in Syria is quite funny, and of course tragic. I was reading this morning about people who died too young: Ritchie Valens was only 17 on “the day the music died”, yet odious fascists like Putin and Assad survive …. I stick voodoo pins into a doll of Putin but it doesn’t seem to work. I really hope he dies before he starts to recolonize Central Asia.

D) Mark Carney is very funny. He is costing us half a million quid in salary plus FIVE THOUSAND QUID PER WEEK housing benefit (this is hilarious – housing benefit is to be cut but not for vastly-paid foreign immigrant socio-politicoo-elite cronies!) And WHAT is Carney going to do? STOKE UP INFLATION to lower the value of the GBP and erode debt. BRILLIANT. And this needs MILLIONS to do? Apparently Osbourne wanted someone “more adventurous” than boring old Tucker. Adventurous? This is not crocodile-fighting in Florida. The BofE manager SHOULD be boring and unadventurous. Do you want someone adventuring with YOUR money? And in ANY case the government should make major decisions about our money, not some unelected pillock.

Carney’s appointment is an utter disgrace and a massive insult to all taxpayers, but typical of all parties. How could the political classes in Europe have sunk to this level of idiocy and incompetence?

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Posted by on June 19, 2013 in Funnies


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