Monthly Archives: July 2013

Perkins & the Four Million

Morning Perkins! You look your usual gloomy self!  What’s the problem now?

Haven’t you seen the news, Sir?

Of course not, Perkins. I rely on you to keep me up to speed. What is it this time?

Well, there are four million East Europeans, Africans and Pakistanis camped outside Calais, Sir.

“Camped outside Calais”??? What on earth are you talking about? Who in their right mind would want to holiday in Calais?

They’re not holidaying, Sir. They look sort of poor, and there are lots of them who are somewhat dark-skinned and who five times a day kneel on mats and pray.

Now be careful, Perkins. We mustn’t be racist, must we? I take it you mean these are Muslims then? And who are the rest exactly?

They’re mostly Rumanians and Bulgarians, Sir.

And how do you know that?

Well, the local police have reported that 90% of the lead on local church roofs has been stolen along with a large number of railway tracks.

Goodness me! So it IS true what “The Daily Mail” says, then?

Well, it usually is, Sir …..

 But you haven’t explained what they are doing camping outside Calais.

I think they want to come to the UK, Sir ………

Come to the UK, Perkins? Four million foreigners? Are they insane? Why don’t they want to stay in their own countries?

They think they would be better off in the UK than in their own corrupt, criminal and/or or religiously-insane countries, Sir.

Huh! As far as all that goes, they are obviously deluded – the grass is always greener etc, but grass is still grass wherever you go. But the Muslim element? Surely they would want to go to a Muslim country?

It seems most of them think the UK is already a Muslim country, Sir.

Oh really, Perkins – don’t believe everything you read in “The Daily Mail”.” But from what you say it seems they are poor, homeless and indeed fridge and telly-less! How will they manage without tellys? It’s unthinkable”!!

Yes, but they believe they can get all those things here, for free.

Of COURSE they can, Perkins. That is the whole point!

But surely, Sir, only a lunatic would give free housing, tellys and fridges to four million people who have never paid a cent in tax in Britain and are not only not British but reject almost all our beliefs and traditions as well as nicking the lead off our church roofs?

Perkins!! Wash your mouth out with soap and water! What would the PM say if he heard you!!!!

He would call me a bigot, Sir.

And quite right too. No, they must all come in; a sort of Dunkirk in reverse. This will of course be a one-off invasion – till next week at least. Sort it out Perkins. Tell the councils to turf out the native Brits and replace them with destitute immigrants. This is the British way, after all.

But Sir – in the last century we would have fought four million invading foreigners, not welcomed them in with open arms!!

Yes, but those were carrying guns and driving tanks, Perkins. Bedsides, they were Germans, and the EU has abolished war. Times have changed. For goodness sake, do get up to speed.

But won’t the people be surprised – to say the least – to find four million immigrants suddenly arriving?

Perkins!! For goodness sake! We won’t let them all come in at once!! No, they’ll dribble in over a decade or so – sort of under the radar.

But surely the people have a right to know at least even if they don’t actually have any SAY in this?

Perkins! For once and all, we are elected to do what is good for the people, because of course we KNOW what is good for them. Therefore we do not have to consult them about everything or indeed anything. They place their trust in us by voting for us every five years. Do you see now?

Errrrmmmm ……

By the way, changing the subject completely, how are our poll ratings?

Well, our popularity rating is on 0.4% at the moment compared to the Tories on 40% and UKIP on 58%.

So, a big improvement on the last poll. But what about the Lib-Dems?

Clegg was last seen being led away in a straitjacket saying the EU was wonderful, Sir. Surely you had heard?

I never listen to the news on the golf course Perkins, as you well know. But given what you say, I think we are on the right track, and these four million extra benefit-consuming illegal but legalized immigrants should see our ratings shoot up. Besides, that’s four million more Labour voters. You see! It’s all good! You know it makes sense.

If you say so, Sir.


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UK Child-Raising Policy

Our mole in the Government Propaganda Department has managed to get his hands on a draft copy of a new parenthood directive to be distributed in schools. It seems to gather together existing practice into a soon-to-be-official generalised approach to childbearing. As such, the honesty is admirable if countered by the obvious lunacy involved.

Governmental Advice re Child-bearing

A) You don’t need to be able to support a kid – the diminishing number of actual workers paying tax will do it for you. This is one of your “Human Rights”.

B) You can have multiple kids by multiple different and usually absent fathers – no problem: we’ll pay for it all, and get you a nice big free telly for the kids – plus of course a house appropriate for your size and lifestyle needs.

As a bonus, if you manage to assemble under one roof more than 12 multi-fathered but fatherless kids you stand a good chance of selling your story to the Daily Mail for a huge sum and thereby enjoying your 15 minutes of fame as well as a few years’ free supply of booze and fags.

C) You don’t have to be married, or you can be “married” to someone of the same sex – or even married to someone of a different sex if that is what turns you on.

As I said, bold stuff, though we wait to see the Labour Party denounce it as capitalist brutalisation of the poor as they simultaneously renew Brown’s pledge to end child poverty.

However – courageous though this policy is – there is of course a downside, since under it society will increasingly comprise:

CLASS A) the Privileged Class: a sundry mixture of over-privileged, generally non-societally-essential idle tossers such as professional footballers, bankers, aristocratic
toffs, politicians (especially failed ones who go to Brussels), BBC executives, Council  Leaders and on the other hand the occasional deserving industrialists (Dyson & Branson) and various artists such as Elton John, Mick Jagger etc.

There is of course a sub-group of class A, the Hampstead, Looney-left “Never-done-a-proper-job-in-our-lives-the-immigration-and-general-debt-ridden-shambles-we-cause-doesn’t-affect-us” class as represented by the Hampstead upper echelons of the hilariously-named “Labour” Party.

CLASS B) the unemployed and usually unemployable Benefits Class with multiple kids. As there is every incentive to have ever more kids to get more benefits this group in society obviously increases in size, boosted by immigrants who naturally have more kids both for the welfare and so that they can one day outnumber the natives and democratically impose Shariah Law.

CLASS C) The Noo Working Class comprising elements of the old Working and Middle Classes. This group is of course utterly despised and squeezed by the other two classes and is treated as an eternal Milch Cow to be bled as dry as possible. As this class is not on benefits it has to pay its way in the world and so limits its kids to what it can afford. In this way it is declining in size compared to group B so that an increasingly-small class is supporting through its work an increasingly-larger one that does no work but has no trouble getting a new washing-machine when the existing one breaks down – as it frequently does of course with the washing of multiple kids.

The system massively benefits classes A and B of course, who seem unable to grasp that it is totally unsustainable and will lead to social collapse and revolution. Still, a strain of utter lunacy has always existed within the human brain, in this case boosted over decades by a feckless, craven, corrupt, lying and cowardly political elite, especially that part commonly known as the looney-left illiberal unintelligentsia.

By the way, which morons voted for this system? I myself do not remember voting for it, but then my memory isn’t what it was. Or maybe they slipped it in when I was on my hols. Any of you lot vote for it? Of course, it could be that nobody actually had a chance to vote on it, like with the four million immigrants under the last Labour so-called government.

PS From “The Daily Grail”:

“Areas such as Ladywood, an inner-city corner of Birmingham, are utterly dominated by single-parent families. And the effects are devastating. On arriving here, the sense of a material and emotional poverty being passed down from generation to generation is palpable. There were moments last week as I wandered through the council estates, terraces and high-rise flats when I wanted to cry for the children and adults who live here – people for whom I fear the future will be every bit as grim as the past.”

Ed: Never mind, when Ed gets into number 10 he will abolish child poverty, so that’s all good then.

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Posted by on July 12, 2013 in Britain, Core Thought


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SLOE (Snuggs’ Laws of Economics)

1) The more you pay people the more important they think they are and the less useful work they actually do.

2) The efficiency of any organisation is in inverse proportion to its size.

3) The higher an organisation’s “SQ (Shibboleth Quotient” – see NHS, BBC, the NUR in the past) the more impossible it is to get any meaningful change.

4) The less say the general pleb has in the running of any organisation the higher will become that organisation’s overweening arrogance and venality and general opinion that only its senior employees know best (see above for usual suspects)

5) The higher the SQ the more impossible it becomes to get any real accountability for the total shambles their culprits are responsible for (See Savile, vast payments to cronies, immense political bias, large numbers of unnecessary deaths and appalling A&E performance and so on and on and on ….)

As for the current problems (multiple, unnecessary deaths plus “The NHS is “about to run out of cash” – and faces a £30 billion funding gap by 2020, senior health service officials have warned.”)

I propose the Labour Solution:

– double the pay of managers and doctors

– double the number of managers and reduce their workload

– increase the number of imported non-English-Speaking doctors (who are actually desperately needed in their own poor countries) and to compensate for this betrayal of the poor and sick in the developing world increase aid to those countries as a sop to liberal conscience

– halve the number of hours doctors must – and/or are allowed to – work (because the EU knows best)

– set up another couple of tiers of management, plus an overall body to supervise all the rest (useful for failed political cronies, of which there are vast hordes scumming around the surface of society)

– mortgage the next 1000 years of our kids’ future to PFIs and other slick accounting frauds – this is under the modern mantra of “Someone else will (have to) pay.” – also much-favoured by the Club Med and now France).

That should do it.

Have a nice day, and wave goodbye to another 53 MILLION QUID to the EU.

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Posted by on July 6, 2013 in Britain, Core Thought


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Blair’s on the loose again

Some hilarious words of wisdom from our roving multi-millionaire Noo Socialist:

‘We have to put it on the table and be honest about it. Of course there are Christian extremists and Jewish, Buddhist and Hindu ones. But I am afraid this strain is not the province of a few extremists. It has at its heart a view about religion and about the interaction between religion and politics that is not compatible with pluralistic, liberal, open-minded societies.’

… to which one can only riposte:

NOW you tell us!! But we told you YEARS ago. And YOU made it worse, FAR worse. NOT through Iraq – where we liberated a country from a mass-murdering (five thousand gassed in one single Kurdish town alone) tyrant responsible for the deaths of at least one million people – but by allowing hundreds of thousands of Muslims into the country in the expectation that they would vote for “Endless-Benefits-R-Us”, “we-have-abolished-boom-and-bust” Labour.

He adds: ‘At the extreme end of the spectrum are terrorists, but the world view goes deeper and wider than it is comfortable for us to admit. So by and large we don’t admit it.’

No, you idiot. YOU didn’t admit it. Your whole party did not admit it. For most of us (except the Hampstead and shire-based unintelligentsia) it was BLEEDIN’ OBVIOUS.

TODAY’S HILARIOUS: There really is nothing so surreal that you could not imagine it:

“The NHS watchdog implicated in a cover-up over a hospital where babies died through neglect spent £785,000 last year on 11 lobbyists.”

 And WHY does the loathsome Bercow have to whiz around the world racking up travel expenses into the hundreds of thousands of quid? Hs job is SPEAKER. To sit in the HOC and tell MPs to shut up. What ELSE requires our money to go on foreign jaunts? These people are all scum.

 Oh, and you apparently have to belong to union if you want to stand for any position whatever in the Labour apparatus … sounds a bit like fundamentalism to me. Millibland Minor – what a 24 carat plonker he really is.

 Then there is Hollande (vying with our Ed for “Idiot of the Year” ) fulminating against Yankee spying when it turns out that his OWN French secret service has a massive eavesdropping and totally ILLEGAL operation going on all the time. And Merkel is ranting on about evil US “spying” (which has actually prevented Islamic terrorism on her country’s soil) when she obviously KNOWS that it goes on. EVERYONE KNOWS …. do they think we are STUPID? (no need to answer that.) What CAN happen WILL happen ….

Can’t wait either to see if this latest story about a Swiss malcontented banking whistleblower REALLY has the goods on up to NINE French cabinet ministers with illegal Swiss accounts. That would REALLY be funny – what will Hollande SAY? Who will be left to run the country? Not that anyone is really running it anyway. The end of the world must be nigh what with all this lunacy going on.


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Posted by on July 5, 2013 in Britain


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