Today’s Funny from the Daily Grail (Thanks Ed – we can rely on you.)
“Ed Miliband will today concede that Labour will not be able to reverse any of the Coalition’s spending cuts unless they are fully funded by budget reductions elsewhere. After three years of opposing almost every one of the Government’s attempts to bring down public spending, the Labour leader will risk disappointing core supporters by declaring that if he wins the next election he will not borrow more to undo any of them.”
Comment: As for “cuts”, Britain’s debt is STILL GOING UP. Europe CANNOT afford this level of government spending and unless this changes the continent is doomed to economic decline. Among other things, it is not Britain’s moral obligation to house Somali immigrants free in Central London.
Today’s Pathetic – The NHS
“Instead of endorsing what mattered – health care for all – Mr Cameron endorsed our particular system delivering it. It is the worst in the Western world. It is organised from the centre and run by the producers and the trade unions. The one thing it cannot do is what we all most want – to look at the whole patient and meet his or her medical needs. Anyone on a waiting list (currently 24 weeks in our area for a rheumatology appointment) experiences this. So does anyone elderly, or with an elderly relation. So do the queues in A and E, the sick who cannot get a GP at weekends; so did the dead in Mid Staffs or Barrow-in-Furness.”
Condensed Books for the Plebs
OK, the Labour Party Manifesto is not a book, but as fiction it still qualifies. As part of the research for this project we did a survey in Rotherham. Asked whether they had ever seen a Labour Party Manifesto, people collectively produced these responses:
- 60%: “No, I don’t go to political demonstrations as they always clash with something on telly.”
- 20%: “Manifesto? What’s a manifesto?”
- 10%: “I got one through the letterbox and threw it straight in the bin.”
- 5%: “It’s all Mrs Thatcher’s fault.”
- 5%: unrecorded – our surveyor is in hospital with a various broken bones and multiple bruising.
Labour Party Manifesto – condensed:
- We will abolish everything bad, except child poverty and Bust and Boom, since Gordon has already done that.
- You can trust us with the economy – and of course everything else.
- We know what is good for you.
- We will oppose everything the Tories do, whatever its merits.
There – a lot simpler to digest for the good people of Rotherham, and if it IS to be thrown directly in the bin there is less waste, which is good for the environment.
……. Of course, it involves leaving out the following boring stuff which will only confuse people:
We will ….
- … secretly allow massive and uncontrolled immigration since a) it makes us feel moral and b) they will invariably vote for us (see postal-voting fraud) – we will turn a blind eye to the subsequent ghettoization of large areas of London – as lots of these immigrants are fundamentalist religious lunatics we will allow them to preach their vile creed from thousands of new mosques.
- … double doctors’ incomes and halve their responsibilities, thus ensuring the NHS slowly runs into the sand to become a national disgrace.
- … build no houses for the homeless but instead favourise buy-to-let for once evil, capitalist landlords now redefined as great benefactors of the homeless.
- … start an illegal war and send our young men to fight in it without enough flak jackets.
- …. spend billions more on exploding welfare, since those on state benefits tend to vote for us.
- …. turn a blind eye to postal voting fraud for the same reason.
- … commit the country to wasting billions for decades on private finance initiatives.
- … develop a cult of vastly-overpaid consultants, mandarins and council and quango jobsworths whose competence and honesty are in direct inverse proportion to their emoluments. (See NHS & BBC cover-up scandals etc etc etc)
- … finally get rid of Blair and replace him – without a ballot- with someone even more surreally useless.
- … do nothing about Heathrow, thus condemning London to inevitable decline as a global airline hub as business moves to Schipol, Frankfurt and CdeG, Paris.
- … do nothing about future power provision and in particular allow nuclear to age and run down so that we are more dependent on imported energy while simultaneously allowing energy bills to rocket in order to subsidize useless and ugly wind turbines.
- … leave office with the country horrendously in debt and then spend the next few years blaming the Tories for the latter. (We are especially proud of this one.)
Labour voters must be proud ……..Have a good day.