What bonus are YOU on then?

The difference between what British banks pay for funds and what they charge homeowners is more than twice that in the U.S., France or Germany.

THIS is where the bonuses partly come from. It is a massive rip-off. The banks should have been nationalised and all their directors sacked instead of getting bailed out. Bankers must feel like they were on the Titanic but managed to get into the lifeboats ahead of steerage passengers (us …)

Not only have most of the people guilty for the crisis retained their jobs but they are already getting back to the bonus culture while both the European and American vastly-endebted economies are heading towards the precipice – and indeed serious social upheaval.

But when you get a mortgage you’re usually made to feel as if the bank has done you an immense favour and you are so lucky.

And no, I am not writing this from planet Zog. This is happening NOW on OUR PLANET.

 

Daddy, I want to be a Space Ambassador when I grow up …

“Whom the Gods first wish to destroy …”

United Nations to appoint space ambassador to act as first contact for aliens visiting Earth

You’d think the UN would have enough problems on its plate (Palestine, Kashmir, global hunger, diminishing resources, excess population, avoiding WWIII, which will break out in the South China Sea or in the Arctic), but no, they have to appoint an Aliens Ambassador …

The problem is the knock-on effect …. the EU is not going to let the UN go it alone, is it? After all, the EU is really much more important. So we can soon expect the EU to name its own “Space Ambassador” to greet the Aliens ….. just as well Ken Livingstone is no longer Mayor of London or else he’d want his own Space Ambassador, too.

Blair must be angling for this plum UN job already …..  he has the requisite charm in spades and has of course been used to dealing with aliens in his own party for years …

Just think, he could prepare by watching every sci-fi film ever made …. what fun …. I might have a go myself …. some of my friends think I have a lot in common with aliens anyway, the phrase: “Which planet are you on?” being one I am familiar with … but maybe it is not I who am on another planet …

But have they considered the practical problems? What happens if the aliens land in the middle of Australia? I can just imagine the conversation:

“Take me to your leader …”

“Oh, that’ll be Billy Boy over there, but you’ll have to wait – he had a few beers too many last night ….”

“But who is your real leader?”

“Oh, you need to speak to the UN Space Ambassador.”

“Ah, pls take me to him ……”

“Well, he’s 12,000 miles away at the moment, in New York ….. if you’d like to wait 15 hours he’d be delighted to see you, I’m sure. Can I put you up for the night? My shack is over there …..”

“But I must see him at once, before I destroy your planet.”

“Ahhh  …… errrmmm … well, I could give you his address so you could pop over there yourself. Have you got a SatNav?”

It is of course very sad, but despite the many decades of obsession with UFOs there is NOT ONE SINGLE PIECE OF EVIDENCE that would stand up in court that aliens exist. This is of course a bit like the evidence for “God”, or indeed fairies. Still, as long as it’s not their own money ……

 

Letters to the PM – Squatters

23 September 2010

Dear Mr Cameron

Goodness knows you have enough on your plate and I know you are trying to put right some of the lunacy of the previous shambles calling itself a government. However, I read something this morning which is almost unbelievable but is in fact just one more example of the utter mess which is much of the law.

It seems that while people are on holiday, gangs of foreigners break into and take over their house, get squatters in and declare “squatters’” rights. The police cannot act and the returning holidaymakers cannot get back into their house without going to law, which – as we know – can be a costly and length process.

This is just insane, unfair, wrong and plain stupid and unnecessary. “A man’s home is his castle” is just a joke.  There MUST be a way to fix this problem without recourse to law. It should be sufficient to show the police a copy of the deeds for them to A) get the people out B) lock them up till they have paid for damage and C) permanently exile them from Britain. Why is not EVERY case of breaking into a house a CRIMINAL matter?

I have to say that much of the law is a sick joke and does more to protect victims than culprits. I hope you can deal with this promptly. I really can’t feel proud of my country with such nonsense going on. And HONEST, DECENT people are having their lives ruined.

Yours sincerely

Chris SNUGGS